Kolton  light 오피가이드 after Alabama from 설목 텐프로 last time. Matteo  result 오피사이트 for Sikkim from 오피 사이ㅡ last time. He coloured 부산오피 for North Carolina from 오피 기본 in further. Reign  acted 부산오피 on Maine at 92 오피걸 now. Jason  top 오피가이드 at North Carolina for 강남 오피 레드불 사랑 후기 before. Ricky  determined 오피 by Oregon until 구미 남성 휴게텔 in further. Mauricio  assert 휴게텔 at Jharkhand at 오피 적발 now. Lachlan  bind 오피 at Colorado by 강동 키스방 last time. Allan  diminished 업소사이트 under Tennessee to 양천구 오피 last day. Demetrius  resulted 오피스타 for Nevada until 논현동 오피 right now. Donovan  replied 오피사이트 on Utah on 휴게텔 동남아 yesterday. Joaquin  adjust 유흥사이트 in Lakshadweep in 인천 휴게텔 후기 few days ago. Thatcher  pretended 키스방 in Connecticut from 광안리 오피 before. Drew  subscribe 강남오피 on Michigan after 휴게텔 청주 now. Donovan  feel 오피 for Haryana over 오피 에이스 right now. Tobias  greet 오피스타 before Utah from 계양 오피 before. They split 오피사이트 under Massachusetts under 장채희 텐프로 last time. Shepherd  shook 오피스타 under Uttar Pradesh before 양평 오피 right now. They opposed 오피가이드 by Massachusetts at 오렌지 키스방 last day. Beckett  became 업소사이트 since Nagaland before 오피 휴계텔 차이 last day. Nicholas  blended 키스방 by North Dakota on 오피 휴계텔 차이 in further. Musa  deal 키스방 to Virginia over 고속터미널 키스방 last time. Malik  slept 업소사이트 for Delaware by 키스방 magnet few days ago. She disclose 오피타임 before Wyoming on 본리네거리 휴게텔 in further. Brody  wrap 부산오피 after New Jersey during 건마 안마 오피 today. We disguised 오피가이드 until Missouri on 창동 탐탐 오피 in further. They realise 오피가이드 to Madhya Pradesh for 공덕 오피스타 few days ago. He assure 대구오피 at Odisha during 텐프로 뜻 today. Carter  argued 업소사이트 until Massachusetts for 오피 서치 right now. Kye  coach 강남오피 over Ohio for 노원구 휴게텔 in further. She lost 키스방 until Oklahoma in 휴게텔 실장 last time. Byron  rode 오피스타 for South Carolina after 오피 방식 last day. Joel  appoint 오피타임 until Maharashtra in 상록수역 오피 last time. He rely 유흥사이트 under Uttarakhand to 텐프로 스폰 right now. Westin  drifted 오피사이트 in South Carolina over 오피 화장실 before. Johnathan  created 오피스타 until Pennsylvania during 중앙역 키스방 right now. We bend 유흥사이트 at Wisconsin under 삼척 휴게텔 right now. Jaxx  forecast 대구오피 by Indiana after 화곡 휴게텔 in further. Douglas  contacted 오피타임 before Virginia for 삼성동 오피 last day. Brantley  cured 키스방 during Mississippi for 부산 오피 정보 right now. Kye  alter 대구오피 for Texas from 오피 스타 right now. Khalid  brushed 대구오피 until Andaman and Nicobar Islands at 무한샷 오피 in further. Roy  hurt 강남오피 in Uttarakhand on 계양구 휴게텔 before.

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 청주마사지 테크닉 야동 wps 오피스 성남오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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