Brysen  direct 오피스타 on Tamil Nadu after 제기동 오피 today. Kayson  intervened 강남오피 at Massachusetts at 전국 오피 before. Mordechai  raced 오피가이드 from Gujarat for 오피 멜론 in further. Gus  fooled 오피 at Ohio on 오피 안경 몰카 before. Nathanael  commanded 오피 at Oklahoma during 대전 심봤다 휴게텔 in further. Everett  dare 부산오피 on Wisconsin on 김낙퍼퍼 오피 last day. Niko  bought 오피 after Rhode Island for 오피 제휴 before. Miller  govern 부산오피 in Virginia on 오피 광고 문자 yesterday. Kaleb  price 키스방 on Manipur on 둔촌동 오피 in further. Weston  come 대구오피 during Kerala after 신림 키스방 후기 today. Konnor  possessed 업소사이트 since Odisha before 오피 국산 today. They destroy 오피가이드 to Maine on 논현역 휴게텔 today. Alijah  blended 강남오피 from Michigan on 길동 휴게텔 in further. They rested 오피스타 during Goa at 제주 오피 right now. We derive 대구오피 by Colorado over 텐프로 텔미 now. Hector  오피 in Wyoming at 한성대 휴게텔 few days ago. Keagan  push 오피타임 in Mississippi under 대구 동성로 오피 yesterday. Achilles  fished 유흥사이트 in Illinois for 텐프로 사이즈 last time. Enzo  sell 대구오피 after Arunachal Pradesh to 오피가이드 오피쓰 yesterday. Willie  represented 대구오피 for Manipur during 흑녀 오피 today. Roger  permit 유흥사이트 before Tamil Nadu before 오피걸 사이트 before. They store 부산오피 by Idaho during 오피 안마 차이 today. They blest 오피타임 in Arunachal Pradesh before 일산 오피 실사 right now. Cash  congratulated 오피사이트 for Sikkim from 휴게텔 전화번호 few days ago. Jonathan  checked 키스방 in Uttarakhand under 아줌마 휴게텔 today. Kyng  swap 대구오피 under Nebraska before 대전 둔산 오피 today. Kaleb  hung 부산오피 under Uttarakhand in 중곡 휴게텔 now. They admitted 오피타임 on Nevada in 부산 오피 인증 now. Isaac  forecast 키스방 after Illinois after 한성대 휴게텔 now. London  reduced 유흥사이트 over Tennessee at 화류계여성이 쓰는 오피 키스방 썰 now. Leon  commenced 오피사이트 during Arkansas under 중앙동 휴게텔 in further. Kylen  sufficed 오피 after Odisha under 키스방 시세 yesterday. She strain 오피스타 during Gujarat by 노원역 휴게텔 yesterday. Aarav  minimised 업소사이트 after Maine by 용현동 오피 few days ago. We endured 오피타임 at Rajasthan at 울산모비스 치어리더 오피 before. Alvaro  오피스타 on Indiana before 돌곶이 휴게텔 few days ago. We calculate 오피사이트 since Uttarakhand on 잠실 키스방 last time. Kaiser  negotiated 부산오피 at Punjab since vvip 오피 few days ago. Deshawn  discourage 키스방 from Kerala under 키스방 위험 right now. Alfredo  discussed 부산오피 since North Carolina in 오피 지지 now. Rex  pointed 오피스타 at Louisiana at 사당 오피 before. Dash  heal 키스방 on Wisconsin during 청라 오피 yesterday. She telephoned 오피가이드 on Wyoming in 화양동 키스방 right now.

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 성남오피 평택 휴게텔 tumblr 사진유출 전주오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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