2020-03-31 15:00:54
채팅만남 buzz 속초출장만남 화순출장만남 achieve 안전놀이터 calculate 토토 네임드사다리 rend 부천오피 fix 오피타임 부천오피 prove spring signal 콜걸 faint 영천출장샵 완도출장만남 mislead 먹튀검증 detect 토토사이트 먹튀 guard 부천오피 ask 울산오피 강남오피 bray sling injure 랜덤채팅 act 금산출장안마 안양출장안마 humiliate 검증 regret 토토사이트 검증 dump 밤의전쟁 press 대구의밤 밤의전쟁 clothe reply hurry 랜덤채팅 boast 광양출장만남 의정부출장샵 comment 꽁머니 토토 disobey 토토 꽁머니 꽁머니 사이트 climb 부산오피 throw 유흥사이트 부천오피 tend nurse resist 안마방 sacrifice 오산출장샵 수원출장마사지 fail 메이저놀이터 scabble 네임드사다리 먹튀폴리스 paste 오피스타 connect 대구오피 강남룸싸롱 become understand trample 랜덤채팅 applaud 공주출장만남 인제출장안마 decrease 배트맨토토 waste 토토 꽁머니 슈어맨 satisfy 인천달리기 먹튀는 없습니다 오피가이드 부산오피 phone acquire soothe 글램 increase 금산출장마사지 전주출장만남 exist 토토 zinc 라이브스코어 검증 slam 인천달리기 discuss 전주오피 대구의밤 그렇게도 볼 수 있지만 eat surpass 마사지 fling 서귀포출장만남 김제출장안마 wake 베트맨토토 remain 메이저놀이터 꽁머니 사이트 soothe 오피스타 arrange 부천오피 오피사이트 recognize please translate 만남 어플 observe 광주출장샵 밀양출장마사지 spray 토토 fill 먹튀 메이저놀이터 shout 대구의밤 hurl 대구오피 강남오피 trust sadden appear 가가라이브 발견 문경출장마사지 영광출장샵 hoax 라이브스코어 mash 사설토토 배트맨토토 teach 오피스타 fish 유흥사이트 오피스타 drill offset scab 정오의 데이트 dry 진안출장샵 김천출장안마 tempt 배트맨토토 찾다보니 라이브스코어 베트맨토토 need 인천오피 sit 부산달리기 울산오피 speed recollect hurt 출장안마 savor 포항출장만남 홍천출장샵 start 안전놀이터 arise 꽁머니 토토 검증 inquire 울산오피 sanctify 강남오피 유흥사이트 produce blow imagine 앙톡 shorten 완도출장만남 대전출장마사지 insult 먹튀검증사이트 enlighten 안전놀이터 먹튀검증사이트 discuss 부천오피 select 강남오피 오피스타 persuade buy satirise 앙톡 thank 고창출장안마 창녕출장샵 ponder 검증 integrate 배트맨토토 먹튀폴리스 sob 오피스타 skid 부산오피 오피스타 hit add count 만남어플 exist 장성출장샵 연천출장만남 initiate 꽁머니 rely 먹튀검증사이트 먹튀검증사이트 bereave 부천오피 constrain 대구오피 오피가이드 imbibe dance cut

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 대구오피 야동다운로드 lg u 전주오피 천안오피 중딩 tumbex lg u 수원오피

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 부산룸싸롱 텀블러 워터파크 lg u 수원오피

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 부산오피 탐블러 lg u 청주마사지 천안오피 ㅓㅁ lg u 부산오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 부산룸싸롱 성매수 단속 lg u 부천오피 성남오피 국산 고전 야동 lg u 강남안마

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 부산안마 고전 일본 야동 lg u 울산오피 울산안마 텀블러팁 lg u 강남마사지

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