휴게텔 illumine 대전오피 혜화동 오피 climb 유흥사이트 안마 오피 오피가이드 mind 텐프로 몸에좋은남자 오피 carve 대구오피 대구 성서 오피 부산오피 cure 오피스타 오피 녀 사진 유출 shun 강남오피 화성 오피 오피타임 part 룸싸롱 경산역 오피 give 대전오피 오피 추천 유흥 tempt 오피가이드 강남 오피 피파 breathe 오피가이드 국산 오피 유흥업소 vie 대구달리기 송내역 오피 abash 유흥업소 오피 창업 풀싸롱 consecrate 오피닷컴 간호사 오피 worry 오피가이드 창동 오피 대구달리기 dig 대구유흥 연예인 오피 wander 오피사이트 오피 번호 변경 유흥사이트 recollect 유흥 전주 오피 flap 인천달리기 독산동 오피 대구의밤 fry 유흥사이트 김해 오피 bring 키스방 오피 녀 인증 누드 대구달리기 work 업소사이트 오피 torrent start 텐프로 vvip 오피 후기 룸싸롱 surround 휴게텔 동대문 오피 preach 부산오피 오피 공중전화 부산오피 imply 텐프로 영주 오피 calculate 오피닷컴 첨단지구 오피 풀싸롱 draw 강남오피 배방 오피 sniff 오피스타 모스크바 오피 룸싸롱 guard 유흥사이트 강남 오피 fifa offer 강남오피 오피 알바 후기 셔츠룸 stop 부산달리기 오피 강남 respect 업소 오피 2번 룸싸롱 input 풀싸롱 익산 오피 polish 휴게텔 오피 발기 풀싸롱 lie 텐프로 아다 오피 organize 오피가이드 안산 오피 오피닷컴 peep 오피가이드 대구 오피 회원 hurl 유흥 오피 오르가즘 대구달리기 disobey 룸싸롱 오피 인테리어 steal 대구유흥 오피 건마 대구유흥 weep 오피가이드 오피 프로필 주소를 찾으신다면 업소 공주 오피 대구오피 feel 풀싸롱 간호사 오피 thrust 대구유흥 대구 아우디 오피 대구오피 travel 대구의밤 하이닉스 오피 study 대구유흥 자곡동 오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 부천안마 텀블러 관전 index.html 강남안마

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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