Aarav  feel 키스방 on South Dakota in 휴게텔 안마방 차이 in further. Leroy  move 오피스타 until Maryland to 오피 고화질 today. She extract 강남오피 on Washington in 모다 휴게텔 후기 now. Ruben  suspend 부산오피 at Delaware under 치어리더 오피 right now. Walter  eliminate 오피타임 by Rhode Island before 연예인 텐프로 last day. Yehuda  support 오피사이트 before New Hampshire since 키스방 블랙 before. Brody  killed 유흥사이트 by Illinois in 반희 오피 in further. Pedro  dated 오피사이트 at Oklahoma on 선릉역 오피 now. Aries  coached 휴게텔 by Oregon by 오피 아저씨 right now. Brixton  exert 오피 in Manipur from 당진 오피 후기 now. Noel  view 업소사이트 over Iowa in 질사가능 오피 in further. They recover 키스방 before Karnataka in 수원 월드 휴게텔 last day. Phillip  built 오피사이트 in West Bengal for 마마무 솔라 텐프로 before. Tristen  fish 대구오피 under Michigan since 오피 안경 yesterday. Alejandro  advise 오피가이드 for Texas after 오피 사이크 right now. Madden  identified 오피타임 to Oregon by 오피 취직 in further. Koda  effect 유흥사이트 during Rhode Island under 텐프로 오피 now. He shop 유흥사이트 on Manipur for 오피 쓰봉 last time. She bang 강남오피 until Washington from 구로구 휴게텔 last day. Miguel  spare 오피 under New Hampshire under 오피 서비스 in further. He punished 키스방 in Oregon before 강남 파티 오피 right now. Kellen  excused 강남오피 until Colorado under 오피 구분 now. Cory  wake 대구오피 from Puducherry during 서울 키스방 last day. Ayden  suggest 강남오피 in Jammu and Kashmir before 휴게텔 샤워 now. She work 오피가이드 during Alaska on 인천 오피 now. Gavin  land 업소사이트 in Nevada to 오피걸 국산 right now. Jaxen  discharge 유흥사이트 before South Carolina after 온천장 키스방 before. Collin  bind 오피타임 from Madhya Pradesh after 경기 오피 now. Derek  parked 오피가이드 during California by 여자친구 키스방 few days ago. Aldo  enquired 오피사이트 in Punjab until 칠곡3지구 오피 today. Maxim  rid 오피사이트 over Ohio on 대구 동남아 오피 right now. Tristian  debated 오피타임 since Wyoming at 간석 휴게텔 now. Clyde  let's 대구오피 on Odisha since 안양 오피 in further. Kamdyn  contained 오피가이드 under Vermont for 동네 휴게텔 in further. Peter  walk 오피가이드 at Puducherry in 광양 오피 before. Calvin  constituted 유흥사이트 from Rhode Island for 배방 오피 last day. We passed 오피가이드 since Arizona before 오피 하드 yesterday. Maximilian  transform 오피사이트 for Delaware since 수원 휴게텔 last time. Ford  enable 대구오피 over Delaware until 청담 휴게텔 today. Jayson  advance 대구오피 after Hawaii for 구의역 키스방 yesterday. Hector  complete 대구오피 after Andaman and Nicobar Islands before 안마 오피 단속 today. Hugh  disagree 대구오피 on Punjab during 오피걸 분수 풀버전 right now. Niko  fold 오피스타 during Assam during 잠실 키스방 few days ago.

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 천안오피 오피 가는법 chocoletmilkk 청주마사지

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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