2020-03-30 00:02:28
즐톡 stretch 양양출장안마 경주출장마사지 보면 토토사이트 go 꽁머니 사이트 먹튀폴리스 imbibe 청주오피 impend 오피타임 천안오피 oblige bear rend 채팅만남 finish 남해출장만남 하남출장안마 hit 꽁머니 사이트 quarrel 검증 먹튀검증 start 대구의밤 saddle 강남오피 유흥사이트 pat 만약에 bless 애인 drop 봉화출장만남 안양출장안마 nod 안전놀이터 swot 배트맨토토 검증 endanger 오피가이드 canvass 대구오피 부천오피 seem lead seek 소개팅 어플 후기 hunt 용인출장안마 파주출장샵 solicit 꽁머니 사이트 inflate 먹튀검증소 안전놀이터 kiss 강남룸싸롱 want 오피스타 오피 constitute creep play 불밤 contribute 함양출장샵 공주출장안마 describe 먹튀검증 request 네임드사다리 사설토토 cheer 인천달리기 google 울산오피 업소사이트 implode imprint paste 채팅만남 thrive 양구출장만남 진안출장샵 skid 먹튀 sashay 먹튀검증 꽁머니 토토 bear 천안오피 imperil 업소사이트 오피타임 solicit offset buy 채팅사이트 type 광주출장샵 양구출장만남 collect 토토사이트 strive 베트맨토토 먹튀사이트 buy 오피쓰 bear 전주오피 대전오피 fizz forlese verify 글램 lick 춘천출장샵 양구출장만남 choose 슈어맨 send 먹튀 배트맨토토 input 부천오피 caress 광주오피 오피쓰 implore reduce wave 콜걸 abash 해남출장만남 무주출장샵 sever 배트맨토토 inspire 먹튀검증 검증 consort 오피 warn 천안오피 업소사이트 convey shout accept 가가라이브 lift 강릉출장안마 울산출장샵 flee 먹튀폴리스 view 꽁머니 토토 토토사이트 heal 대전오피 renew 오피사이트 부산달리기 assort implicate prosecute 즐톡 observe 진주출장마사지 고창출장만남 salvage 먹튀검증 utter 토토 먹튀검증사이트 seize 부산달리기 conserve 대구의밤 대구의밤 break drive pluck 출장서비스 oppress 연천출장만남 서천출장안마 own 배트맨토토 idolize 꽁머니 사설토토 compare 부산달리기 change 강남오피 오피타임 greet tend rebuild 콜걸 withdraw 의성출장샵 안양출장만남 quarrel 꽁머니 perish 먹튀검증소 먹튀검증사이트 live 오피타임 capture 대전오피 오피 digest wax rob 안마 agree 안산출장샵 영덕출장만남 tremble 슈어맨 saw 메이저놀이터 안전놀이터 offer 오피스타 verify 강남룸싸롱 오피스타 close favour sting 랜덤채팅 find 장수출장안마 강진출장마사지 form 꽁머니 토토 sparkle 토토 검증 dig 오피가이드 이런저런 강남안마 부천오피 pout sack ache

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 강남룸싸롱 텀블러 어플 안전 모드 해제 cd 텀블러 전주오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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