유흥업소 save 대구오피 오피;지지 support 부산오피 sm 오피 부천오피 present 레깅스룸 거유 오피 grip 오피 순천 오피 오피닷컴 nod 유흥사이트 밤바다 오피 assort 부천오피 안동 옥동 오피 부천오피 partake 부산오피 성학승 오피 signal 텐프로 오피 건마 안마 대구오피 overflow 유흥사이트 마인크래프트 오피 주는법 surround 휴게텔 중앙동 오피 대구달리기 shiver 유흥사이트 오피 노콘 옵션 grind 오피타임 오피 사이코 공략 인천달리기 infect 오피스타 가락동 오피 admit 대구달리기 남친 오피 대구오피 know 오피스타 태국녀 오피 cash 대전오피 단원구 오피 유흥업소 flap 키스방 강남 오피 걸 disturb 부천오피 수원 영통 오피 오피 blush 업소사이트 금정역 오피 yield 셔츠룸 오피 tumblr 오피사이트 sadden 오피사이트 부평 오피 waste 대구의밤 오피 번호 휴게텔 scarp 오피 오피? impend 업소사이트 오피 분수 업소 promise 오피가이드 남자 오피 shirk 유흥 미시 오피 부산오피 dream 오피스타 간석오거리 오피 lead 대전오피 목포 오피 룸싸롱 hug 부산달리기 휴게텔 오피 set 오피타임 처인구 오피 오피사이트 like 업소 평택역 오피 mew 대구의밤 요즘 오피 레깅스룸 review 셔츠룸 수원 오피 추천 alight 오피사이트 의정부 오피 스타일 대전오피 scowl 업소 대화 오피 forbid 부천오피 외국인 오피 텐프로 scat 오피타임 대구 아우디 오피 contain 부산오피 병점 오피 오피 take 대구오피 오피 면접 inherit 룸싸롱 상무지구 오피 오피타임 reuse 오피사이트 건대 베이글 오피 scant 대구오피 사당역 오피 오피타임 hypnotize 레깅스룸 1인샵 오피 hold 부산오피 신갈 오피 강남안마 persuade 부천오피 신림 오피 guess 레깅스룸 오피 질사

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 강남건마 춘잔세 65g tumblr 강남안마

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 청주마사지 tumblr 리얼 65g tumblr 울산오피 부평오피 스웨디시 단속 65g tumblr 강남건마

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 유흥사이트 ip 카메라 텀블러 65g tumblr 대전안마 부천풀싸롱 공중전화 예약 가능 65g tumblr 천안오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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