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오피스타 scrub 대전안마 강남룸싸롱 infuse 부산오피 병점안마 admire 인천안마 대전안마 imbibe 의정부키스방 포항안마 청주오피 sweep 오피스타 울산오피 uproot 의정부키스방 대구마사지 place 강남안마 수원풀싸롱 cook 일산룸싸롱 전주오피 maintain 업소사이트 인천안마 sell 제주도룸싸롱 일산룸싸롱 drop 광주오피 광주오피 soar 동탄마사지 포항유흥 오피쓰 prevent 오피사이트 오피타임 ferry 김포오피 일산안마 impend 대구오피 강남건마 develop 병점휴게텔 부천오피 sip 오피 오피스타 touch 일산안마 분당안마 submit 대전안마 오피톡 seem 제주도안마 포항텐프로 오피스타 forecast 전주오피 대구안마 explore 의정부오피 광주마사지 sob 전주오피 대구오피 mistake 익산안마 오피쓰닷컴 attract 업소사이트 전주오피 sniff 김포룸싸롱 김포마사지 mark 부산달리기 오피쓰 jump 부천키스방 포항op 오피쓰닷컴 click 오피 유흥사이트 savvy 광주룸싸롱 제주도키스방 steal 오피스타 대구의밤 land 대전마사지 오피쓰 maintain 오피톡 수원풀싸롱 converse 의정부룸싸롱 일산안마 found 부산달리기 오피톡 subscribe 병점오피 포항스파 대전오피 stride 유흥사이트 오피스타 clean 분당마사지 인천마사지 help 오피쓰닷컴 천안오피 sweep 수원오피 수원오피 infringe 밤의전쟁 청주오피 beautify 제주도키스방 선릉안마 signal 부천풀싸롱 강남풀싸롱 sink 대구키스방 포항kiss 울산안마 change 오피쓰 오피가이드 afford 수원룸싸롱 부평키스방 pray 부천오피 수원오피 resist 원주키스방 업소사이트 owe 광주오피 전주오피 learn 울산키스방 부산안마 surmise 오피타임 오피가이드 merge 청주안마 포항풀싸롱 울산안마 suppose 오피스타 청주마사지 modify 서울휴게텔 강남마사지 swing 인천오피 강남풀싸롱 pacify 강남오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 대구오피 텀블러 골프장 텀블러 필터링 인천안마 울산오피 남양주 오피 텀블러 필터링 부천오피

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 부산안마 텀블러 아프리카 텀블러 필터링 대구마사지 울산안마 스캇 텀블러 텀블러 필터링 업소사이트

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 성남오피 시라이시 마리나 야동 텀블러 필터링 울산안마

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 강남안마 부산룸싸롱 텀블러 필터링 성남오피 강남마사지 국산 키스방 텀블러 필터링 인천오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 부천풀싸롱 야동ㅇ 텀블러 필터링 수원오피 천안오피 키스방 도촬 텀블러 필터링 울산오피

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 포항오피 연예인 베드신 텀블러 텀블러 필터링 대전오피 성남오피 이예슬 텀블러 텀블러 필터링 유흥사이트

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 광주오피 정두언 야동 텀블러 필터링 수원룸싸롱 전주오피 야동 hd 텀블러 필터링 청주오피

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