레깅스룸 imply 유흥사이트 삼산 오피 cycle 업소사이트 오피 레전드 유흥사이트 sip 휴게텔 오피 fc keep 부산오피 진주 오렌지 오피 레깅스룸 tremble 풀싸롱 신월동 오피 이런것도 있고 인천달리기 오피 백마 인천달리기 phone 풀싸롱 오피 야 동 contribute 휴게텔 오피 한달에 레깅스룸 paint 강남오피 독산동 오피 reduce 오피가이드 안성 오피 오피타임 travel 텐프로 오피 토렌트 wear 유흥업소 오피 torrent 대구오피 impinge 오피스타 구리 오피 envy 대구달리기 오피 갤러리 오피타임 check 셔츠룸 오피 손가락 quarrel 대구의밤 영주 오피 업소 shine 셔츠룸 이수역 오피 read 키스방 국산 오피 몰카 업소 rule 업소사이트 간호사 오피 calculate 부천오피 오피 다이소 대구오피 violate 오피 제이제이 오피 rush 오피사이트 대구 칠곡 오피 텐프로 colour 유흥업소 세종시 오피 chew 셔츠룸 평택 오피 유흥업소 have 텐프로 광주 오피 궁 limp 인천달리기 오피 대순 풀싸롱 manage 강남안마 오피 누드 drink 강남안마 도봉 오피 대구유흥 upset 부산달리기 강남 백마 오피 travel 인천달리기 경산역 오피 풀싸롱 provide 유흥사이트 김포 오피 bray 오피가이드 오피 애무 레깅스룸 offer 부산달리기 군산 오피 prescribe 업소사이트 가양역 오피 강남안마 sag 강남안마 오피 분수 flee 풀싸롱 오피 인증 휴게텔 wave 오피사이트 마크 오피 주는법 explain 대구유흥 전국 오피 텐프로 knock 부천오피 세컨드 오피 slim 오피가이드 이수역 오피 부천오피 chase 대전오피 오피 cctv 단속 dance 셔츠룸 오피 흑마 대구유흥 report 부천오피 오피 외모 breathe 업소사이트 부평 오피 대구유흥 rob 풀싸롱 오피 골뱅이 reach 부천오피 수원역 오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 청주오피 오피 콘돔 텀블러 인증녀 인천오피 수원룸싸롱 키스방 정보 텀블러 인증녀 울산오피

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 대구마사지 텀블러 유리 텀블러 인증녀 성남오피 강남마사지 국노 야동 텀블러 인증녀 울산오피

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 청주오피 포항 출장 텀블러 인증녀 수원풀싸롱

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 울산오피 야동 토렌트 추천 텀블러 인증녀 대전오피 대구마사지 텀블러 세이프 모드 텀블러 인증녀 부산오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 부산안마 텀블러 다운로더 크롬 텀블러 인증녀 부산오피 포항오피 텀블러 ty228 텀블러 인증녀 업소사이트

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 대구오피 아이리 텀블러 텀블러 인증녀 부평오피 광주오피 인계동 오피 텀블러 인증녀 강남오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 강남건마 텀블러 젊은 텀블러 인증녀 광주안마 대구오피 보 지 텀블러 텀블러 인증녀 전주오피

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