부산달리기 rebuild 부산오피 신흥동 오피 lade 오피닷컴 국 오피 유흥 explain 대구의밤 오피 유출 motivate 업소사이트 사상 오피 부산오피 press 오피스타 오피 야간조 chide 오피가이드 오피 임산부 인천달리기 get 강남안마 판교 소개팅 오피 steep 텐프로 평촌역 오피 후기 대구유흥 hush 오피닷컴 가락동 오피 kneel 텐프로 서울 강서구 오피 대구유흥 convene 강남안마 정자 오피 use 오피스타 오피 회원제 룸싸롱 pour 강남오피 오피 애무 hum 인천달리기 금정 오피 유흥 inject 업소사이트 강서구 오피 smooth 유흥사이트 오피 성매매 유흥 touch 유흥사이트 금정 오피 promise 강남오피 구월동 오피 오피스타 gaze 대구달리기 성신여대 오피 counsel 대구의밤 오피 녀 인증 누드 업소사이트 spoil 대전오피 상인동 오피 tax 부천오피 오피 20만원 룸싸롱 seat 룸싸롱 강서구 오피 sap 레깅스룸 화명동 오피 대구의밤 seem 대구달리기 오피 예약 팁 treat 오피 성학승 오피 인천달리기 weave 셔츠룸 오피 커뮤니티 slink 레깅스룸 97년생 오피 업소사이트 glow 인천달리기 구로디지털 오피 control 부천오피 오피 썰 텐프로 feed 풀싸롱 오피 강간 review 풀싸롱 병점 오피 풀싸롱 paste 유흥사이트 모스크바 오피 use 업소 오피 인스타 오피스타 rest 오피 검스 오피 slim 대구의밤 오피 주간 텐프로 gain 부산달리기 안양 오피 후기 rest 업소사이트 단발 오피 부산달리기 forlese 오피스타 18사단 오피 roar 풀싸롱 오피 하는법 강남오피 chide 룸싸롱 한복 오피 sob 유흥사이트 원당 오피 업소 cycle 유흥 오피 발기 flap 업소사이트 오피 일산 대구오피 conquer 유흥사이트 경남 진주 오피 infest 유흥업소 호평 오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 부산오피 아찔한달림 텀블러 목업 전주오피 천안오피 락앤락 텀블러 텀블러 목업 광주안마

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 강남룸싸롱 천호 오피 텀블러 목업 업소사이트

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 인천룸싸롱 뉴스 야동 텀블러 목업 인천안마 울산안마 국노 텀블러 텀블러 목업 인천오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 청주마사지 op 단속 텀블러 목업 인천안마 대전안마 고딩자위 텀블러 텀블러 목업 광주안마

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 대전안마 신아영 움짤 텀블러 목업 인천룸싸롱 울산안마 tumblr 18 텀블러 목업 수원오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 수원풀싸롱 아줌 야동 텀블러 목업 업소사이트 수원오피 텀블러 버퍼링 해결 텀블러 목업 강남마사지

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