부천오피 fold 오피 오피 조루면 qualify 오피스타 오피 tumblr 오피사이트 answer 업소사이트 오피 다녹 dare 대구오피 오피 걸림 대전오피 smooth 유흥업소 대구 오피 후기 murmur 휴게텔 bbw 오피 유흥사이트 store 대구의밤 오피 정보 congratulate 룸싸롱 오피 사이트 순위 강남안마 course 대전오피 신내동 오피 sally 대전오피 오피 흑마 대구오피 foretell 유흥업소 오피 신촌 caress 부산오피 오피 단속 대구유흥 reflect 룸싸롱 tumblr 제목없음 오피 inhabit 오피닷컴 산본 오피 부산달리기 conduct 풀싸롱 오피 쓰리섬 후기 appear 대구오피 젠더 오피 강남오피 confine 유흥사이트 오피 명품샵 attack 오피가이드 이주단지 오피 대구오피 leap 룸싸롱 오피 보지 attract 대구오피 오피 강간 유흥사이트 withdraw 대구달리기 일산 오피 애널 convict 강남오피 익산 오피 후기 오피타임 welcome 인천달리기 수성구 오피 scan 대전오피 당산 오피 텐프로 tell 인천달리기 러시아 오피 후기 derive 대구유흥 신설동 오피 풀싸롱 pause 풀싸롱 광교 오피 get 부천오피 러시안블루 오피 부산달리기 weep 강남오피 밤문화 오피 sparkle 룸싸롱 창동 오피 부산오피 convert 대구유흥 오피 나무위키 crib 오피사이트 오피 대순 부천오피 fight 유흥업소 오피 카페 banish 오피 오피 대순 강남오피 reuse 업소 오피 organize 오피닷컴 수유 오피 대구의밤 diminish 대구유흥 순천 오피 impress 유흥사이트 오피 야간조 대구의밤 own 인천달리기 오피 강간 scatter 부산달리기 오피 비아그라 유흥사이트 signal 룸싸롱 응암 오피 shorten 오피사이트 오피 대순 유흥업소 corrode 유흥업소 문정동 오피 appear 룸싸롱 오피 협박 풀싸롱 remake 룸싸롱 오피 사기 sweat 휴게텔 동두천 오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 울산오피 텀블러 검색 엔진 카와 텀블러 부평오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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