인천달리기 ill-treat 오피사이트 오피 녹음 insert 대구달리기 오피 비아그라 대구의밤 sail 대구달리기 오벨리스크 오피 whip 오피 운서동 오피 풀싸롱 transform 업소사이트 오피 아빠 resemble 키스방 오피 하는법 업소사이트 obstruct 대구달리기 오피 음주 colour 레깅스룸 오피 여친 오피스타 impart 대구달리기 오피 성매매 start 유흥 g컵 오피 부산달리기 implant 텐프로 사상 오피 sparkle 오피스타 남포 오피 오피 afford 유흥 일산 오피 애널 ponder 오피타임 오피 장부 업소사이트 convey 유흥사이트 엄태웅 오피 terrify 유흥업소 한남동 오피 오피스타 terminate 유흥업소 초월 오피 regard 풀싸롱 펨돔 오피 업소 endorse 대구달리기 분수 오피 agree 셔츠룸 오창 오피 풀싸롱 soothe 부산오피 상주 오피 detach 대전오피 엄태웅 오피 강남오피 발견 오피타임 국산 오피 몰카 slam 키스방 오피 흑마 레깅스룸 crush 업소 강남 오피 프로필 hop 부산오피 오피 쓰봉녀 대전오피 search 오피가이드 방배 오피 ignite 인천달리기 오피 한달에 대구의밤 spill 부산오피 신림9동 오피 insult 대구달리기 광안리 오피 룸싸롱 imprison 대구유흥 신정역 오피 polish 업소 밤문화 오피 강남오피 vary 대구유흥 공덕 오피 recite 인천달리기 얌얌 오피 이도희 후기 유흥사이트 jump 업소사이트 오피 번호저장 please 레깅스룸 오피 신분증 유흥 shape 인천달리기 오피 커뮤 fold 룸싸롱 오피 툰 룸싸롱 satirise 셔츠룸 대전 오피 추천 salvage 오피 오피 실장 수입 오피닷컴 decide 풀싸롱 연예인 오피 detach 대구달리기 오피 폰번호 오피가이드 restrain 강남오피 오피 pray 업소사이트 가양역 오피 업소사이트 create 강남안마 오피 썰 ache 유흥 오피 대포폰

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 인천오피 야노좋아 오피 사기 강남안마 전주오피 시간 야동 오피 사기 인천룸싸롱

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 수원룸싸롱 텀블러 사무실 오피 사기 부천안마

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 강남안마 텀블러 ㅇㅅ 오피 사기 유흥사이트 광주안마 키스방 홈런 오피 사기 대구마사지

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 부산안마 텀블러 검색어 추천 오피 사기 강남마사지 청주오피 교복 자위 텀블러 오피 사기 수원오피

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 부천오피 부평오피 오피 사기 부산룸싸롱 부산룸싸롱 텀블러 sex 오피 사기 부천오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 부천오피 우리넥 오피 사기 울산안마 대전오피 텀블러 풀버전 오피 사기 수원오피

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