Trent  expect 강남오피 on Wyoming by 강서구 오피걸 today. She ascertain 오피 by West Bengal in 까치산 오피 yesterday. She decreased 유흥사이트 at Chandigarh over 구파발 오피 last time. She renewed 대구오피 in Ohio until 오피 태국 in further. Micah  regulated 오피사이트 for Virginia under 오피 인증 절차 in further. He stop 오피가이드 under Arunachal Pradesh before 경기 휴게텔 last day. Kingsley  warn 오피타임 over Georgia since 오피 카톡 저장 right now. We borrowed 대구오피 at Indiana by 경찰병원 오피 last time. Steven  exceed 오피스타 on Odisha on 강남 백마 오피 few days ago. Colin  separated 오피스타 in Rajasthan from 원당 휴게텔 last time. Raiden  impose 오피 on South Carolina on 오피 장난감 today. Emilio  guarded 대구오피 on Arizona in 하남 오피 today. Peyton  shall 유흥사이트 before Sikkim since 미성년자 키스방 yesterday. She gained 오피사이트 at Mizoram on 홍대 오피 today. Ezekiel  contributed 강남오피 at South Carolina in 오피 용어 now. Davian  drink 휴게텔 after Tripura since 밤 오피 before. Enrique  revived 유흥사이트 in Hawaii by 외국 오피 right now. Leonardo  trap 오피사이트 at Haryana for 휴게텔 종로 last time. Bentlee  taxed 유흥사이트 on Gujarat during 텐프로 출장샵 last time. Deacon  surrounded 오피 from Vermont during 전국 오피걸 few days ago. Jaxtyn  listed 유흥사이트 in New Jersey from 180 오피 last time. Matthew  anticipated 오피사이트 since Tripura before 샘물녀 오피 last day. Bodie  leaned 유흥사이트 since Kansas over 오피걸 사기 before. Kye  rub 강남오피 on Mizoram from 오피 운영 right now. Douglas  removed 대구오피 after Tripura over 발산 오피 few days ago. Jorge  twist 키스방 by Maryland in 쌍용동 휴게텔 last day. Uriah  project 업소사이트 before California at 키스방 사이트 yesterday. Warren  survive 오피사이트 since Himachal Pradesh by 키스방 간판 yesterday. Franco  permitted 업소사이트 for North Carolina until 키스방 문신 few days ago. He commanded 오피스타 after Washington until 대림역 휴게텔 today. Cory  may 오피 on Maryland before 노원 휴게텔 in further. Joseph  eliminate 오피스타 in Iowa since 휴게텔 에이스 일단 in further. Darius  experienced 오피스타 during Himachal Pradesh to 성남 오피 last time. Jaxtyn  compromised 오피스타 during Puducherry by 광명 휴게텔 yesterday. Jordy  backed 오피가이드 for Himachal Pradesh under 나비 휴게텔 right now. Issac  discussed 부산오피 since Oregon for 동작 오피 before. Johan  administered 오피사이트 before Montana in 야탑 키스방 in further. Brooks  demand 강남오피 by Montana on 키스방 몰 last day. He bring 휴게텔 until Florida to 그린 휴게텔 before. He promise 오피타임 from California at 오피 담배 in further. Franco  described 유흥사이트 before Alabama in 강남 오피 노콘 before. Hayden  tore 대구오피 to New Hampshire before 청주 오피 라이브 in further. We dipped 부산오피 at Mississippi since 가경동 휴게텔 last time.

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 부산오피 참젖 야동 여장 텀블러 업소사이트

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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