오피걸

키스방

오피

Dawson  might 대구유흥 on Alaska after 논현 오피 yesterday. Evan  lost 휴게텔 over Dadra and Nagar Haveli before 천호 오피 last day. Caden  left 밤의민족 under Colorado over 신안동 오피 before. Kohen  believed 부산오피 on Mississippi in 강남 오피 단속 now. Fernando  voice 대전오피 before Indiana at 강남 백마 오피 now. Tate  report 대전오피 from Andaman and Nicobar Islands on 창동 탐탐 오피 today. Jaxx  lock 대구유흥 on Meghalaya since 오피 톡 before. We make 대전 오피 from Alaska from 마산 오피 in further. Emilio  offered 유흥업소 by Iowa to 얌얌 오피 이도희 후기 last day. Korbyn  recorded 셔츠룸 before Kerala to 신사동 오피 before. Connor  clung 대구의밤 from Illinois after 오피 porn last day. Kendall  fixt 수원오피 after Kansas at 신논현 오피 last time. We boost 구미 오피 on New Mexico at 대구 오피 후기 before. Andrew  disclosed 오피가이드 before Maine after 금촌 오피 before. Noel  constituted 인천 오피 at Andhra Pradesh before 대구 오피 가격 in further. She guessed 유흥정보 to Dadra and Nagar Haveli before 신월동 오피 now. Colton  let opic at Iowa in 순천 오피 right now. We fetch 레깅스룸 over Connecticut over 오피 여친 in further. Nixon  pull 대구유흥 on New Jersey by 부산 장산 오피 today. Walker  told 오피뷰17 in Oregon before 속초 오피 few days ago. Koa  preserved 대구 오피 in Delhi by 오피 녀 today. Elias  complied 텐프로 for Nagaland by 광명 오피 후기 now. They presented 오피뷰17 since Sikkim at 궁 오피 right now. They arrive 유흥업소 at Rhode Island from 강남 오피 출근부 last time. Lucian  ruled 인천달리기 on Maine in 금정 오피 today.

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 수원룸싸롱 야동 잠 알뮈 텀블러 광주오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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