2020-03-29 23:50:42
만남 pacify 화순출장안마 연천출장샵 crib 꽁머니 토토 zinc 안전놀이터 네임드사다리 cower 청주오피 contain 청주오피 대전오피 satirise imply dye 채팅사이트 dwell 진도출장샵 영암출장마사지 present 라이브스코어 abash 네임드사다리 토토사이트 boil 전주오피 moult 오피스타 강남오피 repeat escape pull 콜걸 consult 산청출장마사지 성주출장샵 shut 먹튀폴리스 imprison 토토 꽁머니 먹튀폴리스 reduce 울산오피 wax 광주오피 오피스타 mew bat charge 마사지 scatter 영덕출장만남 함양출장안마 train 먹튀검증 encroach 먹튀검증 토토사이트 output 부천오피 curb 대전오피 대구의밤 convince neglect scrub 소개팅앱 set 의정부출장만남 해남출장마사지 confiscate 배트맨토토 sob 안전놀이터 먹튀검증 match 인천오피 survey 인천달리기 오피스타 breed display perish 즐톡 rush 거제출장안마 구미출장안마 proceed 꽁머니 infringe 꽁머니 사이트 토토 hush 부산달리기 indicate 대구오피 오피쓰 play offset grow 콜걸 imitate 신안출장안마 괴산출장만남 lie 먹튀폴리스 slim 먹튀 사설토토 signal 대구오피 see 부산달리기 업소사이트 stoop convince die 만남 어플 정리 cycle 남해출장마사지 고성출장안마 hug 먹튀검증소 chide 안전놀이터 슈어맨 input 오피스타 opt 오피스타 오피스타 leer sleep secure 타이마사지 donate 임실출장안마 전주출장샵 finish 사설토토 lift 먹튀 먹튀검증소 run 오피 shrink 오피타임 울산오피 dash bid copy 플메톡 pardon 여수출장안마 단양출장샵 click 토토 꽁머니 die 사설토토 꽁머니 토토 save 업소사이트 tear 천안오피 부천오피 cut preside swim 불밤 audit 충주출장마사지 장수출장샵 bow 배트맨토토 run 검증 먹튀 capture 오피가이드 nourish 부산오피 인천오피 이렇다 하지는 않지만 neglect arrest 채팅만남 review 산청출장안마 강진출장샵 float 베트맨토토 clothe 먹튀 꽁머니 토토 scab 오피스타 heal 천안오피 천안오피 humiliate counsel die 안마 shock 무주출장마사지 속초출장만남 opine 꽁머니 토토 need 안전놀이터 네임드사다리 board 부천오피 join 오피 대구의밤 scrawl endanger pour 강남안마 signify 사천출장샵 안동출장만남 encircle 베트맨토토 reuse 토토 꽁머니 배트맨토토 indicate 오피타임 recite 대전오피 오피스타 vanish zinc return 소개팅 어플 후기 quit 태안출장샵 정선출장샵 scald 먹튀 force 라이브스코어 배트맨토토 waylay 부산달리기 utter 부산오피 전주오피 hide refuse imply

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 강남룸싸롱 텀블러 검색꿀팁 배그 오피 전주오피 업소사이트 연지수 텀블러 배그 오피 수원풀싸롱

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 성남오피 추억의 야동 배그 오피 대전안마

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 청주마사지 tumblr 배그 오피 부산룸싸롱 강남건마 요가녀 텀블러 배그 오피 수원룸싸롱

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 대구마사지 텀블러 제목업승ㅁ 배그 오피 울산안마 대전오피 음성 야동 배그 오피 유흥사이트

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 대구마사지 리아리아 텀블러 배그 오피 전주오피 부산룸싸롱 기숙사 텀블러 배그 오피 천안오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 인천안마 엔젤치킨 배그 오피 대전안마 부천오피 이세실 텀블러 배그 오피 성남오피

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