풀싸롱 discover 오피닷컴 오피 실사 후기 test 대구달리기 오피 사이코 공략 룸싸롱 hurl 레깅스룸 오피? attack 오피가이드 화곡 오피 오피닷컴 weigh 유흥 대구 달서구 오피 dress 유흥 오피 누드 유흥업소 waylay 유흥사이트 부산 오피 백마 construe 대구유흥 유성 오피 대구달리기 partake 부산달리기 97년생 오피 sleep 인천달리기 여대생 오피 텐프로 waste 텐프로 이채아 오피 heave 휴게텔 문경 오피 휴게텔 digest 업소 구월동 오피 lie 강남오피 선릉 오피 후기 부산오피 hum 부천오피 명절 오피 verify 부천오피 문정 오피 오피 shorten 업소 간석오거리 오피 start 휴게텔 99년생 오피 대구유흥 scald 텐프로 금정역 오피 grade 휴게텔 보정 오피 부천오피 sweep 부산오피 경남 오피 그렇겠죠? 부천오피 얌얌 오피 이도희 후기 업소 shoe 업소 오피 텀블러 fizz 대구의밤 코스프레 오피 대구달리기 prefer 오피스타 광주광역시 오피 slit 대구유흥 오피 순위 오피닷컴 shake 오피닷컴 구로디지털 오피 shine 오피스타 뚝섬 오피 부산달리기 qualify 풀싸롱 오피 갤러리 shout 부산달리기 오피 걸스 텐프로 limp 강남안마 오피 설화 limp 대전오피 국산 오피 유흥사이트 tap 오피닷컴 오피 +의미 curve 부산오피 발산 오피 유흥사이트 arrest 유흥업소 속초 오피 nurse 오피 오피 톡 오피 read 대구유흥 오피 나무 ply 업소사이트 철산 오피 오피타임 talk 대구유흥 트젠 오피 illustrate 오피사이트 황금동 오피 오피 salvage 오피타임 부산 장산 오피 pull 대구오피 남미 오피 유흥 spoil 대구달리기 연산동 오피 curve 부산오피 합정역 오피 오피닷컴 flap 휴게텔 오피 원샷 투샷 heal 오피스타 단발 오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 울산오피 야동 구멍가게 목동 휴게텔 전주오피 청주마사지 강간 야동 목동 휴게텔 대전안마

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 업소사이트 한국 넷 목동 휴게텔 대전안마

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 청주마사지 폰허브 검색어 목동 휴게텔 대구오피 부천풀싸롱 야동 거유 목동 휴게텔 강남룸싸롱

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 강남안마 텀블러 아이콘 목동 휴게텔 광주오피 수원룸싸롱 텀블러 믹서기 목동 휴게텔 대구마사지

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 울산오피 대딸방 야동 목동 휴게텔 강남건마 청주오피 요가 야동 목동 휴게텔 강남오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 포항오피 우리넷 목동 휴게텔 대전안마 광주오피 창아 텀블러 목동 휴게텔 전주오피

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