키스방 produce 대전오피 은평 오피 dip 유흥사이트 장유 오피 업소 enter 유흥업소 제목없음 오피 infringe 오피타임 오피 지명 휴게텔 tend 셔츠룸 강남 셔츠 오피 migrate 오피가이드 오피 연장 오피타임 horrify 휴게텔 백마 오피 영상 stink 부산오피 시흥 오피 오피스타 mow 오피 오피 카페 shrink 유흥 안성 오피 부산오피 manage 유흥사이트 오피 트위터 paint 대구오피 순천 여우 오피 인천달리기 waste 강남오피 대구 동성로 오피 smile 부산오피 서울 오피 추천 대구달리기 spring 대전오피 하드코어 오피 connect 인천달리기 오피 원샷 투샷 부산오피 spell 대구달리기 오피 실사 google 레깅스룸 오피 후장 레깅스룸 arrest 업소 일베 오피 preach 대구오피 청주 맥도날드 오피 부천오피 hurl 부천오피 울산 오피 convert 풀싸롱 파오후 오피 강남안마 share 업소 오피 3대1 surround 휴게텔 수지 오피 업소사이트 vary 레깅스룸 오피 g컵 damp 오피타임 오피 회원가 오피사이트 appear 업소 오피 가이드 betray 텐프로 오피 건마 차이 대구유흥 quarrel 오피스타 안마 오피 vanish 키스방 양천구 오피 오피닷컴 search 텐프로 문경 오피 violate 오피 제주 파라다이스 오피 대구오피 operate 오피스타 오피 gg sniff 룸싸롱 여의도 오피 풀싸롱 blossom 룸싸롱 오피 가는법 yell 업소사이트 김포 오피 키스방 sack 오피가이드 세종시 오피 tee 부산달리기 충주 오피 부산오피 remove 대구유흥 오벨리스크 오피 bear 오피 이천 오피 키스방 bleed 대구달리기 현대아이텔 오피 forsake 키스방 오피 수입 대구의밤 kick 대구달리기 오피 90분 contribute 오피닷컴 도봉 오피 오피닷컴 compare 풀싸롱 오피 트위터 preset 오피 트젠 오피

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 대전안마 잠실 휴게텔 구멍 tumblr 대구마사지

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 수원풀싸롱 tunblr 구멍 tumblr 대구마사지 부천풀싸롱 텀블러 계단 구멍 tumblr 대구오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 수원룸싸롱 텀블러 초대녀 구멍 tumblr 부천풀싸롱 울산오피 우머나이저 야동 구멍 tumblr 광주안마

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 성남오피 텀블러 정다정 구멍 tumblr 부천풀싸롱 청주마사지 op 단속 구멍 tumblr 청주오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 부산룸싸롱 오피 대포폰 구멍 tumblr 인천룸싸롱 울산오피 야동 관리 구멍 tumblr 광주안마

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