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울산안마 sabotage 오피스타 대구의밤 state 의정부마사지 수원안마 burst 강남건마 오피쓰 forecast 서울룸싸롱 인천레깅스룸 대구안마 challenge 강남안마 오피쓰 regret 광주휴게텔 병점오피 happen 강남오피 인천안마 make 대전오피 강남오피 ache 대구안마 밤의전쟁 create 강남키스방 부평오피 live 청주오피 인천안마 persuade 광주마사지 인천텐카페 유흥사이트 sneeze 오피스타 부산달리기 conquer 청주오피 평택안마 tie 오피가이드 밤의전쟁 drive 의정부휴게텔 천안오피 renounce 부천풀싸롱 전주오피 summon 울산휴게텔 광주휴게텔 hide 대구안마 부천풀싸롱 seize 광주안마 인천마사지 오피 pretend 인천오피 부산안마 latch 부산키스방 강남룸싸롱 constrain 인천달리기 오피쓰닷컴 wax 선릉마사지 울산오피 relate 강남안마 청주마사지 open 부천마사지 선릉마사지 breed 강남마사지 강남마사지 apologize 일산오피 인천op 강남건마 colour 강남안마 광주오피 chip 분당룸싸롱 분당룸싸롱 attack 울산오피 유흥사이트 apologize 대구키스방 대전오피 favour 부천오피 부천풀싸롱 install 의정부오피 익산휴게텔 kneel 천안오피 강남건마 depend 인천마사지 인천룸싸롱 오피톡 look 대구오피 오피스타 surge 김포룸싸롱 청주룸싸롱 plot 부산안마 대전오피 dance 분당오피 오피쓰 urge 대구의밤 오피사이트 scarify 부평키스방 대전룸싸롱 wake 부천안마 대구오피 abash 인천키스방 인천업소 업소사이트 decrease 오피가이드 대전안마 type 원주안마 대구안마 curve 강남오피 대구안마 speed 익산룸싸롱 오피스타 polish 오피사이트 오피 waylay 동탄오피 부산룸싸롱 select 전주오피 인천안마 plead 울산마사지 인천풀싸롱 오피 motivate 인천안마 부산오피 abide 부평마사지 광주오피 nod 대전오피 오피 transfer 익산마사지

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 전주오피 오피스텔 나무위키 구리 오피 포항오피 광주오피 이예솔 텀블러 구리 오피 대구마사지

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 부산룸싸롱 울산오피 구리 오피 대전안마

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 청주마사지 thumblr 구리 오피 부산오피 유흥사이트 밤사이트 구리 오피 청주마사지

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 대구오피 booboonori 텀블러 구리 오피 전주오피 강남오피 하늘보리 텀블러 구리 오피 성남오피

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 강남룸싸롱 텀블러 누나 구리 오피 인천룸싸롱 유흥사이트 오줌 야동 구리 오피 수원룸싸롱

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 천안오피 텀블러 고딩어 구리 오피 광주안마 부천안마 영계 tumblr 구리 오피 강남안마

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