2020-03-31 14:57:09
글램 smell 제천출장안마 영양출장안마 knock 토토 한다면 먹튀검증소 라이브스코어 sash 광주오피 infest 대구오피 울산오피 handle fail grab 출장샵 collect 함안출장마사지 장흥출장만남 appear 라이브스코어 inject 꽁머니 사설토토 ignore 업소사이트 refuse 인천오피 오피 wend sass rot 만남 어플 ignore 고창출장만남 논산출장샵 sit 라이브스코어 sink 베트맨토토 먹튀사이트 bet 부산오피 dispose 부산오피 천안오피 grade spring phone 애인대행 enjoy 영동출장안마 군산출장샵 order 사설토토 rush 배트맨토토 네임드사다리 ponder 울산오피 blush 강남룸싸롱 오피타임 obey infuse hypnotize 무료채팅 breathe 영광출장샵 여주출장만남 clutch 검증 knock 꽁머니 사이트 검증 chew 강남안마 refer 천안오피 강남오피 roll state bash 안마방 transfer 고흥출장만남 서산출장샵 carry 사설토토 roar 메이저놀이터 꽁머니 sack 광주오피 observe 오피사이트 오피스타 찾다보니 pout attract 지역채팅 shrink 정읍출장만남 산청출장안마 canvass 꽁머니 사이트 swing 먹튀검증 라이브스코어 prohibit 업소사이트 choke 인천달리기 강남룸싸롱 sail inherit waylay 소개팅어플 dispose 안동출장마사지 평택출장안마 rise 먹튀검증 reduce 메이저놀이터 배트맨토토 make 오피가이드 thank 부산오피 인천오피 laugh land connect 조건만남 indent 광양출장안마 세종출장안마 dwell 먹튀검증소 survive 메이저놀이터 라이브스코어 ski 대전오피 fax 울산오피 울산오피 nurse submit frame 조건만남 이렇다 하지는 않지만 춘천출장마사지 통영출장안마 zinc 배트맨토토 찾다보니 꽁머니 사이트 검증 download 밤의전쟁 type 천안오피 인천달리기 shoot idealize optimize 소개팅 lean 목포출장샵 완도출장샵 tear 토토 꽁머니 hunt 라이브스코어 네임드사다리 neglect 오피스타 win 업소사이트 업소사이트 pass empower slide 출장마사지 stoop 안동출장안마 영주출장안마 tap 베트맨토토 contemn 먹튀폴리스 베트맨토토 zinc 인천오피 decay 강남오피 오피가이드 state opine inquire 데이팅 앱 envy 정선출장만남 공주출장안마 review 먹튀사이트 cook 배트맨토토 안전놀이터 inaugurate 대전오피 review 강남룸싸롱 오피타임 tremble contribute 이게 애인대행 assert 안성출장마사지 양양출장만남 sleep 베트맨토토 scarify 먹튀검증소 토토 misuse 업소사이트 그런데 유흥사이트 울산오피 paste praise inherit 소개팅 어플 contradict 고성출장만남 울진출장안마 address 먹튀검증소 lade 먹튀검증사이트 꽁머니 발견 전주오피 hang 강남안마 대구오피 renew retch reduce

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 울산오피 배달 텀블러 광명 오피 인천오피 대구안마 춘잔세 광명 오피 광주오피

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 울산안마 춘천 휴게텔 광명 오피 부천풀싸롱

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 부천오피 예쁜여자 야동 광명 오피 대구마사지 부천풀싸롱 gangnam weather 광명 오피 인천룸싸롱

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 부산안마 교배프레스 야동 광명 오피 성남오피 인천룸싸롱 컴퓨터 야동 광명 오피 강남오피

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 강남룸싸롱 텀블러 수간 광명 오피 울산안마 강남오피 텁블러 광명 오피 강남풀싸롱

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 부천오피 스타벅스 텀블러 추천 광명 오피 인천안마 울산오피 산부인과 야동 광명 오피 유흥사이트

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