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부산안마 partake 오피쓰닷컴 대구마사지 freeze 의정부마사지 강남오피 mould 강남오피 인천안마 attract 김포안마 대구텐프로 강남오피 hew 천안오피 부천오피 inflate 분당룸싸롱 부산안마 pay 오피타임 수원풀싸롱 flap 동탄오피 오피톡 pluck 천안오피 강남오피 pull 인천룸싸롱 익산마사지 match 부산달리기 수원풀싸롱 knit 부평마사지 대구건마 강남마사지 desire 오피쓰닷컴 강남건마 contend 서울룸싸롱 부산안마 stimulate 청주마사지 인천오피 ignore 부평안마 울산안마 saturate 수원풀싸롱 오피스타 offset 부평휴게텔 부산안마 offer 강남풀싸롱 부산달리기 shout 부산룸싸롱 대구스파 울산안마 stress 수원오피 오피톡 paste 청주오피 선릉오피 win 강남룸싸롱 부천오피 hop 대전마사지 강남마사지 discover 강남건마 대구의밤 co-operate 병점안마 선릉마사지 float 울산오피 부천오피 erase 대구마사지 대구kiss 오피사이트 bear 인천안마 대전안마 enlighten 울산룸싸롱 제주도마사지 impel 청주마사지 오피스타 justify 일산키스방 오피톡 fling 부산안마 강남마사지 smash 익산오피 수원키스방 exclude 울산안마 오피사이트 matter 광주안마 대구op 대전오피 omit 오피쓰 대구안마 carry 수원룸싸롱 동탄오피 suck 부천안마 강남룸싸롱 burn 의정부마사지 오피스타 leap 강남오피 강남풀싸롱 satirise 서울안마 김포키스방 conquer 부산안마 대전안마 omit 부산룸싸롱 대구휴게텔 부산달리기 last 인천달리기 오피쓰 disturb 동탄마사지 강남오피 conduct 오피 유흥사이트 use 부평룸싸롱 오피 colour 오피 강남룸싸롱 saturate 대구휴게텔 청주오피 send 강남룸싸롱 강남오피 mark 부평룸싸롱 대구스파 강남마사지 migrate 전주오피 강남풀싸롱 promise 제주도키스방 전주안마 jump 오피톡 강남풀싸롱 support 제주도휴게텔

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo


Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

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Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 청주마사지 야동 나무위키 index.html 전주오피

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A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

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A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

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My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

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