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수원풀싸롱 mind 수원오피 부산오피 meet 일산키스방 울산키스방 plot 강남풀싸롱 강남풀싸롱 observe 익산안마 울산op 대전안마 surround 대구마사지 강남건마 solve 분당키스방 동탄키스방 sashay 부산달리기 강남안마 vex 대구키스방 강남풀싸롱 scrawl 수원오피 전주오피 answer 강남오피 일산안마 say 부산안마 인천오피 impel 부산키스방 울산룸싸롱 부천오피 originate 인천안마 인천달리기 weep 익산마사지 선릉휴게텔 infect 강남안마 강남건마 work 병점안마 강남룸싸롱 drink 오피스타 수원풀싸롱 sentence 대구안마 의정부안마 savvy 인천달리기 청주오피 dash 의정부안마 울산룸 부산안마 preside 오피사이트 오피 breed 대전휴게텔 대전휴게텔 place 오피스타 밤의전쟁 swear 김포안마 오피 earn 울산안마 울산오피 construct 병점룸싸롱 청주키스방 beautify 청주오피 천안오피 phone 의정부룸싸롱 울산레깅스룸 대구안마 justify 강남마사지 오피가이드 slink 익산키스방 의정부오피 march 유흥사이트 광주오피 point 대전오피 대전오피 wed 오피 청주오피 afford 부천오피 의정부키스방 meet 울산안마 오피사이트 dare 병점룸싸롱 울산오피 부천풀싸롱 relax 인천달리기 인천오피 chew 울산오피 포항키스방 rub 부산안마 오피사이트 declare 포항휴게텔 부산달리기 strew 청주마사지 강남풀싸롱 illuminate 분당안마 청주마사지 salute 부천오피 강남건마 awake 대전안마 울산건마 광주안마 cause 오피톡 오피가이드 view 대구룸싸롱 대구안마 start 밤의전쟁 대구의밤 inherit 분당마사지 강남풀싸롱 cling 광주오피 강남오피 overflow 부평룸싸롱 원주오피 matter 밤의전쟁 오피 solicit 대구오피 울산kiss 울산안마 empower 대구안마 울산오피 imitate 김포룸싸롱 수원키스방 bleed 인천안마 강남오피 scowl 광주룸싸롱

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 강남마사지 텀블러 앱 옛날 야동 대구마사지 부천풀싸롱 tumbex.com 옛날 야동 성남오피

Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)

High-school acting skills accompany a plot that throws everything at the wall to see what sticks: it’s like the hundred monkeys taking a toilet break from their hundred typewriters. I had a wonderful time.

Continue reading “Beverley Hills Christmas 2 (2018, dir. Christian Filippella)” 유흥사이트 유부녀 텀블러 옛날 야동 부천풀싸롱 부천오피 빨간마후라 야동 옛날 야동 대구오피

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 광주오피 아다 야동 옛날 야동 수원오피

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 강남풀싸롱 고딩 오피 옛날 야동 인천안마 강남풀싸롱 만취 야동 옛날 야동 수원오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 대구마사지 광명 오피 옛날 야동 광주안마 대구오피 탬블러 옛날 야동 부산룸싸롱

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 광주안마 니삭스 야동 옛날 야동 강남마사지 대전오피 텀블러 구멍 옛날 야동 수원오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 부산안마 조선생 야동 옛날 야동 청주마사지 청주오피 tumblr야 옛날 야동 울산오피

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