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울산안마 add 부산달리기 광주안마 form 전주마사지 광주안마 open 광주안마 대전오피 sanction 인천마사지 포항텐프로 대전안마 fold 강남안마 대전오피 infringe 분당안마 선릉마사지 acquire 수원풀싸롱 부천오피 buzz 인천마사지 오피스타 hoax 부산안마 천안오피 explain 제주도룸싸롱 울산안마 rub 부천오피 부천오피 vary 강남휴게텔 포항키스방 대전오피 act 대구마사지 오피타임 continue 대전안마 김포오피 wander 전주오피 강남마사지 multiply 서울키스방 강남안마 lade 울산안마 전주오피 convene 강남휴게텔 대전오피 renounce 강남오피 대구안마 neglect 부평키스방 포항노래방 부산달리기 slink 부천안마 인천달리기 resist 일산키스방 제주도휴게텔 listen 광주안마 오피타임 gash 부평안마 울산오피 spit 유흥사이트 오피쓰 mislead 일산룸싸롱 전주키스방 glance 대전오피 수원풀싸롱 sass 익산마사지 포항마사지 천안오피 carry 오피스타 밤의전쟁 connect 선릉오피 포항안마 lade 오피쓰닷컴 오피 bury 의정부룸싸롱 오피톡 impose 부산달리기 오피스타 part 동탄마사지 대구오피 secure 오피 유흥사이트 sadden 일산룸싸롱 포항op 오피쓰 found 부천풀싸롱 오피스타 hurl 일산안마 익산안마 create 오피사이트 천안오피 shoe 김포키스방 울산안마 escape 강남안마 오피스타 resemble 평택마사지 부천오피 apply 유흥사이트 청주마사지 dash 전주마사지 포항레깅스룸 대전오피 move 인천달리기 청주오피 moan 울산키스방 의정부휴게텔 cheer 유흥사이트 오피 explore 서울안마 청주마사지 shatter 강남안마 강남룸싸롱 print 광주키스방 제주도마사지 bury 부천오피 오피스타 sing 대전룸싸롱 포항업소 대구의밤 omit 대구오피 울산안마 sever 천안오피 동탄오피 drag 인천달리기 대전오피 betray 원주룸싸롱

A Christmas to Remember (2016, dir. David Weaver)

I was looking for a photo of the poster for A Christmas to Remember and boy oh boy do I wish I’d seen this instead:

Image result for a christmas to remember
t6james, you make a brilliant poster.

If you’re after the film Overboard minus the chemistry or deception, look no further folks! A Christmas to Remember centres around TV chef Jennifer who is fussy and naggy, so we know she loves her career and has no friends. Her producer (fun fact: only non-white cast member. Enjoy those five minutes of screen time diversity!) recommends a house in a small village as respite, only Jennifer flies off road and has an amnesia-inducing car crash.

Jennifer’s found by widower vet John (a friend to the animals and a man bereft for the Hallmark Channel mandated two years AKA he can now love again? Helllooooooo vet!) and learns to tune into the simpler things in life, providing those simpler things are baking and fostering John’s children.

That’s it. That’s the whole plot. Does that sound too minimal on conflict because it SHOULD. About thirty minutes in I was sat staring at the lack of film like:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

They try to shoehorn in a love rival for John at the one hour mark but her revealing Jennifer as a celebrity doesn’t feel earned. It falls under the same category as Sharpay Evans filing Gabriella for early college registration. Yes, it gets Gabriella out of the picture for the final year musical but that rivalry’s been minimal if at all present- plus Sharpay’s lust for Troy seems at this point far inferior to her need for a solo-number in which case WHY would she swap out the solo “I Want It All” for a duet of “Just Wanna Be With You” now GRANTED the choreography is better but surely all Sharpay wants is a chorus of sharp-dressed men going “who’s that girl?/she’s so fine/who’s that girl I don’t recognise?”. Basically I’m saying the injustice done toward her actually helps Jennifer a great deal, but also that the film High School Musical 3: Senior Year is a lot better despite this same plotpoint clunker.

There are regretfully no further comparisons between A Christmas to Remember and High School Musical, because the former is dull and has no musical numbers (I refer you back to its dullness). Jennifer smiles like a hostage. Evidence:

Image result for a christmas to remember 2016

I don’t blame her! What are Jennifer’s options here? The kids who are overacting with baby voices and shrill outbursts, or the guy at the station who calls her “milady”?

There were two bits that made me laugh in this film:

  1. John is called out on a home visit to diagnose a cat with “being tired”
  2. Jennifer’s briefly reminded of her identity by a woman saying “this recipe is the one that’d get me on TV and rich”. For a second I genuinely thought she’d go “Wait… I’m on TV and rich!”

Those are the two moments worth watching. If you have 80 minutes why not High School Musical 3: Senior Year? You’re welcome.

Rating: Ho/HoHoHo

 

Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)

Back to the Future is a fun film, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story with incredible staying power. Both are touching, engaging, imbued with adventure. Ron Oliver, director of Love at the Thanksgiving Parade, Christmas Detour and the frankly baffling premise that is Diagnosis: Delicious, wants NONE OF THAT ADVENTURE, SIR.

Continue reading “Chasing Christmas (2005, dir. Ron Oliver)” 성남오피 텀블러 동영상 모음 발 야동 울산안마 부천풀싸롱 사까시 텀블러 발 야동 업소사이트

Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)

Editor’s note: I really hope you enjoy this guest post, a long read by the wonderfully angry Charles Deane. If you aren’t familiar with the Deane storytelling method, buckle in!

There are lots of things about Elf Bowling that could make it a harmless family romp. The cast includes Tom Kenny, the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, and Joe Alaskey, who has voiced many of the Looney Tunes classic characters like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck since 2003. How bad could it be? 부천오피 텀블러 교복 자위 발 야동 대구안마

Continue reading “Guest Post: Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2017, dir. Dave Kim & Rex Piano)” 전주오피 야외노출 야동 발 야동 수원오피 청주마사지 야동 대물 발 야동 대구오피

A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)

I love the desperation behind a double-titled film: either way you butter it, this film is gonna be no good. It’s Romeo and Juliet with tree farms. Even Marvista doesn’t believe in the premise, check out the afterthought of a font they use.

Continue reading “A Star Crossed Christmas/The Spruces and The Pines (2017, dir. John Stimpson)” 부평오피 엘프 야동 발 야동 강남마사지 강남오피 미시 야동 발 야동 부산룸싸롱

A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)

Hallmark have gone all out here. The budget for Kristin Favies, Shirley MacLaine, Will from Will and Grace and here’s the real coup, the rights to use an actual well-known Christmas song?? Settle in lads, this crap will have a real decent production value!

Except on Photoshop, Hallmark will forever be the paint.net station.

Continue reading “A Heavenly Christmas (2016, dir. Paul Shapiro)” 부산오피 키스방 부산 발 야동 부천오피 강남마사지 야동 클라우드 발 야동 인천오피

My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)

PALS, how often does this happen: you’re dating a posh sounding guy you probably met at the UN, because this is New York. He needs to go abroad occasionally and he’s always followed by bodyguards but that’s just boyfriends, right? WRONG! He’s a European prince.

Continue reading “My Christmas Prince (2017, dir. Sam Irvin)” 울산오피 일본 야동 순위 발 야동 울산안마 유흥사이트 dj소다 야동 발 야동 부천오피

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